We’re more than halfway through 2023, yet it feels like every day we start over yet again. It feels like I’m moving light years ahead in vision and inspiration while my body asks me to make space for grief, anger, and rest. It feels like I’m being dismembered and being put back together all at the same time. I feel both love and loneliness, I feel both sadness and gratitude, I feel confident and deeply insecure. All the while, as I embrace this human experience, my guides point my face forward-akimbo- looking ahead at what my soul committed to long ago. I look upon this “calling” while my little girl breaks down in tears, kicking and screaming. Simultaneously, my higher self gives the military salute acknowledging the “work” to be done.
On the horizon is a vision coming into form. On my way towards the horizon, I’m making pit stops. Lately, a theme continues to arrive in almost every interaction along the way. In my most recent encounter, my guides said it best through a gifted friend “The Andromedans chose you, your ancestors chose you. You are a chosen one. When will YOU choose YOU?” My heart ruptured. The combination of that statement and question cracked open a doorway I’ve feared to walk through. Behind this doorway is a hallway where the writing on the walls repeats words like abandonment, doubt, and lack. There is great pain here, one I know will lead to great power and liberation, but I will not rush to the light. That would be a grave mistake.
My way of being present while looking ahead is to answer the question “When will I choose me?" This question is one I must answer before any other. The action of choosing myself is one I must begin to put into practice before running towards these callings, visions, and missions. To not do this would be the demise of my light within my darkness. Self-sacrifice is not a noble act but instead a member of the “abandonment” family. Although I’ve done a lot of healing around this wound, my “child of promise” (the part of me that roams the underworld) is ready for the next portal of transformation. This body, this incarnation requires it of me for without it - no mission, no vision can be done.
The main message for this next phase is “No mission no calling is greater than sacrificing my self-worth and sovereignty.” The truth is I have struggled with my self-worth for most of my life and it is an unavoidable wound while on my spiritual path. In turn, the practice of honoring my sovereignty and putting these muscles into practice is a skill I must continuously work on and develop. As an energy worker and healer, to master these is essential. I have done a lot of healing work, but these days I’m reminded more and more how the healing path is a spiral one. There is always more to heal, so many layers to peel but always in divine timing.
This vision I see on the horizon will be asking more of me, my energy, my time, my mind and my body. The most important thing to remember about visions and callings is that I have the power to say no and yes when I deem it appropriate. I am meant to still honor my human body in this incarnation, and it is only I who will know what's best. Our spirit guides, especially those that have never been incarnated, will never understand our human needs. Relationships with the invisible realm require stronger boundaries than any other. The boundaries I choose to enforce are directly linked to my self-worth because it communicates the love and respect, I believe are directly proportionate with my worth. This is not easy, but it is simple. So, although my soul and my spirit guides have a plan and a mission, I must not abandon my needs. I must remember, if the ones I am in a relationship with do not respect my needs, then they are not the relationships for me.
I know it's time to level up in more ways than one but for now, I will remain present while looking ahead. I will tap into my body every day to see what it needs and check-in with my younger self to know what she requires. I am worthy of having my needs met. I am worthy of my visions. I am worthy of having them both. I declare this so! May all those that struggle with self-worth be gifted with the vision and understanding that they too can have it all. We are all worthy of love and abundance. We are abundance, we are love. We are the vision and the mission. We are! If you would like to join me in this special practice, I welcome you to use any of the exercises below. Checking-in exercises to help strengthen self-worth
Before getting up from your bed in the morning, take five minutes to take three slow and full in-hales and ex-hales and then return to normal breathing. With your eyes closed, ask yourself “How does my body feel?” You can accompany this question with a short body scan beginning from the bottom of your feet to the top of your head.
Check-in with your younger self and ask, “What do you need?” Waiting for a response. Side note: most times all your younger self needs is your undivided attention as she vents about her feelings and needs. It’s important to refrain from arguing and simply listen.
Ask yourself once a day “what do I want to do?”, “What do I need to do?” Knowing the difference between these two is key to understanding your values.
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